EFMods Forum Archive
[Click here to go to EFMods.com]

If Apple and Microsoft made phasers

EFMods Forum Archive - General
Logalot
Lieutenant

Posts: 262
Join Date: 07-09-2002
Posted at 12:25 am, 14th September 2002
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE-EARTH, UFP-

I have been assigned to review the two new types of phasers Starfleet is thinking of incorporating for hazard and away teams.

Apple- iPhaser

After recovering from the shiny blue glow of this phaser, I began testing it out, There are two modes of fire, Fire X and Fire 9, Fire X is more powerful, but only shoots the basic types of enemies. Fire X breaks less often, but when it does, it explodes violently. Fire 9 shoots most types of enemies, but tends to break more, The manufacturer is getting rid of Fire 9 and is going to blow up anyone who uses it.

Microsoft- Phaser XP

This phaser is slightly less jarring to the eyes, but not much, it is two colors, Light Green, and Dark Blue. Everytime you fire it it broadcasts a loud message saying "Try MSN, OR ELSE!" It also has the Microsoft logo all over it. What I liked about this phaser best was it shot almost every type of enemy! It will also automaticly shoot some enemies, but then it will also sometimes violently vaporize your own crewmembers(Or cheap prostitutes *Sigh* she was so hot...).

Final Verdict- you'd be better off grabbing a large branch, Oh wait, Microsoft bought and acquired rights to branches universe wide... Perhaps the lack of good weapons will usher in galactic peace...

Note: Someone asked me if I was a member of these forums, I said no, I meant yes, I was very confused(Well, more than normal anyway)
Co-Manager of Elite Roleplaying
Had nightmares of all the bad ideas recieved about the ERP map.
Commander luke
Commander

Posts: 612
Join Date: 23-06-2002
Posted at 1:16 am, 14th September 2002
ROTFLMAO!!!

-Now somebody's gotta do; If Microsoft made staships.
Damn, lost 400 posts...
carlos_technology
Commodore

Posts: 2443
Join Date: 14-04-2002
Posted at 2:24 am, 14th September 2002
found on the secret Microsoft government files

microsoft's secret starships said:

Secret Starships To Be Built in the year 2150 (22nd century)
no known ship structures can be named
these are only designs to think of

Mac class:
is fast but has no weapons of any kind, designed for exploring
service record:
USS Mac, first starship of its class
USS apple, a faster version, with small weapons
armed with all 6 sensors and all probes
no weapons
10 decks
compliment of 100

XP class
is slow but has high powered weapon, designed for combat
service record:
USS XP, first starship of its class
USS windows, a slower version with more sensors
armed with medium sensors and 7 probes
12 type X phasers, 50 photon torpedoes
20 decks
compliment of 500

signed: Bill Gates
http://www.microsoft.com


Captain of...
visit the Offical Irc channel #efmods on irc.quakenet.org
Logalot
Lieutenant

Posts: 262
Join Date: 07-09-2002
Posted at 2:49 am, 14th September 2002
I guess, but that makes the Macinthosh ship look like poop. Ah well, I might do some more things like this later.
Co-Manager of Elite Roleplaying
Had nightmares of all the bad ideas recieved about the ERP map.
Scooter
Morale Officer

Posts: 2898
Join Date: 08-05-2002
Posted at 3:07 am, 14th September 2002
That's rubbish. Apple came WAY before Macintosh, and the only reason it was faster was because it didn't have a GUI. The USS Apple shouldn't be armed with anything because everything was sold separately. I don't think you quoted that, I think you made it up.

Captain of the USS Serenity
Logalot
Lieutenant

Posts: 262
Join Date: 07-09-2002
Posted at 3:14 am, 14th September 2002
That's probably true, I doubt Bill Gates would make plans to build a Macintosh starship(Or any starship at all, but you never know)
Co-Manager of Elite Roleplaying
Had nightmares of all the bad ideas recieved about the ERP map.
carlos_technology
Commodore

Posts: 2443
Join Date: 14-04-2002
Posted at 4:42 pm, 14th September 2002
ur right, I did make it up, it was a joke because Luke posted

Commander luke said:
ROTFLMAO!!!

-Now somebody's gotta do; If Microsoft made staships.


Captain of...
visit the Offical Irc channel #efmods on irc.quakenet.org